Before you ask, let it be known that I am well aware of how boring and pathetic it is when people dedicate their whole journal to discussing their pets. That said, this entry is all about my dog, Desmond.

Pete and I recently booked an eight day trip to Oaxaca, Mexico. It's a vacation I have wanted to take for some time and yet it's tearing me apart because it means that I will have to leave my dog at home. In an effort to ease my guilt, I began to look into getaways for Desmond. I figured if I was going to be off gallivanting, he should be able to do the same. He deserved a holiday as well. So I researched ranches and kennel-free inns until I finally found it - Camp Happy Paws!

Camp Happy Paws has five acres of wooded trails, with a bunk house where all the dogs bed down together, and a wonderful couple who lovingly care for all their "campers." Now, Des is a pretty well socialized dog. He does the dog park thing several times a week. He loves to run. He adores the outdoors. He's outgoing. Perhaps he'd learn to make a lanyard keychain or identify different types of flora and fauna? Maybe all the dogs would sit around a campfire at night telling ghost stories? This sounded like the perfect place for him. He could live out all the Sleepaway Camp fantasies I'd had never had opportunity to live out as a child. And so on Saturday morning at 11:00 AM we dropped the pup off for an overnight trial run.

Upon arriving at camp, Des seemed very happy. He sprinted off, wagging his tail like a madman. It was only when he turned around and saw that we were about to take off in the car that he began to protest. He wailed from behind a chain link fence, cries and shrieks like I have never heard before. Pete and I went back to soothe him but you can't explain to a dog that you'll be back in twenty four hours. In the end, a caregiver led us away, promising that he would do better once we were gone.

Pete and I drove back home in silence. We both worried all night about how he was doing and despite being out late, we both awoke early and hit the road to get our "baby" back. Desmond was waiting where we had left him with tears in his eyes. The caregiver told us that his eight night stay might not work out. Apparently Desmond suffers from severe separation anxiety. I always knew the little guy was high strung but this borders on serious neurosis. She suggested speaking to my vet about doggie prozac. Somehow, I can't seem to bring myself to consider that. I feel like if I can juggle work and home and a relationship without the assistance of prescription drugs, my dog ought to be able to handle his rough life of sleeping and going to the park in perfect sobriety. Next thing you know we'll be visiting a doggie psychiatrist and Desmond will be telling him/her what a lousy and insensitive pet owner I am and how I ruined his life. God, I hope he doesn't drag me to see the Pet Psychic!

Desmond spent all day Sunday following me around and staring at me with his big puppy dog eyes. He seemed to think that I might leave him again even though it was fairly apparent that I was saving all my energy for sitting on the couch and watching Anna Nicole . We cuddled and we snuggled for hours on end and the poor dog seems almost himself again nearly 48 hours later. And so we fall back on Plan B, the plan we used the last time we went out of town. We have a dogwalker come in twice a day and have friends stay with him whenever possible to keep him from getting lonely. He will be someplace familiar so his anxiety should be somewhat lessened and we should be able to go it without medicating the personality out of the poor boy. I'll keep you posted on psycho-canine's progress.

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As I mentioned earlier, I am addicted to the Anna Nicole Show on E. I am almost ashamed to admit it but it's very true. I have three questions for anyone else who is watching.