mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Most People Figure Out This Life Lesson Before They Reach 28 - I'm A Slow Learner. Pete and I commute to work together every morning in our reliable little Chevy S-10. I know what your saying ..... "We need to conserve resources, we need fewer cars on the road and more people biking or walking or taking the bus. Mrs. Roboto and Monkeyface are socially irresponsible and I am going to stop reading them now." Well, as you know, I hate the bus but I do promise that as soon as the Monorail makes it out to my neighborhood, I'll start mass commuting. Until then, I am going to justify our laziness by telling you the horrors of what we have to suffer through before 8:00 AM. Our route to work is pretty simply. My office is about fifteen minutes from my house provided we don't hit any traffic and the bridge is down. We do not have to drive on any major highways, just city streets, and along side of us is a bike lane. I respect anyone who can rise bright and early and immediately launch into an exercise regime, I truly do. I am one of those people who has difficulty simply getting out of bed and I really don't reach my optimum performance level till about 6:00 PM which rules out any possibility of coordinating a bike before noon. I am happy when I can pour myself a cup of coffee without spilling it. It's safe to say I am very impressed by these spandex-clad, go-getters. The street runs uphill (and I mean uphill in a Seattle sort of way not the slight incline East Coast cities refer to as steep) and just watching these guys leaves me breathless. Often they keep time with the truck the whole way! It's 7:15 AM and they're cruising along, all caffeine-free, and muscles-a-pumping. Sometimes, Pete and I will look at each other and say "Wow, we really should start biking to work. It would be really good for us." Then we flash back to reality and sip our lattes and listen to John in the Morning spin tunes from the new Breeders album and laugh that we ever contemplated such a silly idea. The one thing bicyclists have going for them in Seattle is that the summers are perfect for this kind of activity. Bike through the streets of New York City in August and you'll be slick with sweat before you clear the first block but Seattle can be almost cold on an August morning (I tend to be a wuss so I wear a sweatshirt midway through most days). Mornings are cool with low humidity and this keeps perspiration to a minimum. The bikers look almost refreshed by the crisp air, their windbreakers flapping behind them. So needless to say, I was surprised to see a cyclist removing their shirt the other morning in 50 degree weather. 'Surprised' doesn't really cover it. I was shocked and disgusted because this man was covered in a thick layer of hair. I mean, a serious coat of back hair like I've never seen before that ran from his shoulders down to the waistband of his shorts. I dare not imagine what lies beneath that elastic. And it was almost as if he was removing his shirt for my benefit. I swear it happened in slow motion like a bad adult film. We pulled up to the light, Pete applied the breaks, I gazed at the window thoughtlessly, and Sir Hairy provocatively stripped off his tee less than three feet from my window. Never one to hide an emotion, I gasped and gagged, alerting Pete to the situation at hand. Pete exploded into laughter and Sir Hairy turned towards us. Okay, this was sort of mean. I mean this guy can't help being hairy and it's never nice to be laughed at but honestly - it's 50 degrees! That's chilly, no? The other bikers are all wearing full clothing including shirts and windbreakers. And he must know he is abnormally hairy to the point of being an anomaly. I mean, the hair on his shoulders rises up in tufts that are visible from even his vantage point. So rather than feel bad about our juvenile behavior, we floored the vehicle past the guy, and hoped he would get the hint to put his shirt back on. Yesterday morning on the way to work we spot Sir Hairy and he has shirt on (hooray) but guess what happens as we approach? That's right - the same slow-motion revelation of his upper body (boo) and I swear it really was directed at me. My appetite was shot till dinner. This morning, I made Pete leave 15 minutes later than usual and there he was waiting at the bottom of the hill. He raced up along side of us and stripped his shirt off at the light all the while smiling at me. So kids, the lesson to be learned here is only make fun of people when you can find another route to work that won't take any longer than the one you already have mapped out because every once in awhile you'll meet someone who will stand up to your teasing and you'll pay, believe me. 1:29 p.m. - 2002-08-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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