mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bad Show Karma Last night was a total blast. The Burning Brides were fantastic, the company was splendid (even if I didn't have nearly enough time for chatting with Dishery, RDG, and Monkeybar - loud shows aren't the best place for socializing, we'll do that at book group on Thursday) and the crowd was a decent mix. But I do have an observation or two about this gig and club gigs in general. Judy and I are both small gals (I'm barely 5'2" and Judy is an inch or two taller). Between the two of us, we probably have a collective 30 plus years of show going experience. So why is it that no matter where the petite ladies stand, a 6'4" man will gravitate and squeeze his gargantuan body directly in front of them? Time and time again, this happens. I once was bolder. I would tap the guy on the shoulder and look up into his eyes with a mixed expression of "please move" and "you are an inconsiderate idiot." This always worked. The giant would step off to the left or to the right leaving a tiny viewing area for me. Inevitably, the dork would drift back in front of me within twenty minutes but then a simple "accidental bump" with my bag would remind him of his manners. Now, I just move to another spot. Tall girls are better. They usually take pity on a vertically challenged sister and immediately swap places with her - no prodding or prompting required. A stately blonde with a pretty mass of curls and a boyfriend in a Social Distortion jacket kindly shifted about last night to provide me with a decent vantage point. Much thanks to her. If you ever forget your keys and need a tiny gal to say, crawl into your cat door and unlock the big peoples entrance you know who to call. Another aspect of my bad show karma would be the fact that I always seem to position myself right in a line of moving traffic. Seriously, there's always a stream of people heading in and out of the crowd and no matter where I stand, they will need to get through right there!!! I think what may happen is that one guy says "Oh look at her! She's small and won't be able to shove me. I'll push past her." Then a group of people see him moving somewhere and start to follow like lemmings. Next thing I know, the whole crowd is stepping on my toes in a stampede to the unknown. Little do they know that I spit on them when their backs are turned. Okay, I only did that once and it was back in the days of backpack mania. Some chick was grooving in front of me but kept smacking into me with her pack. I let her know on several occasions that she was pissing me off but she never removed her bag. So I spit in her hair. She was asking for it, okay? Don't look at me like that. And finally, a small observation: When did everyone start wearing earplugs at shows? You know (she says in a nasally, cracking voice while shaking her old lady cane in the air and eating a plate of prunes), when I was a kid we didn't have any of these foamy little cushions for our ears. We stood next to huge speakers and had screamingly loud music boom directly into our eardrums because we weren't all sissy babies like the kids today are! And when we got home our ears hummed for a day or two and we liked it damn it! What? What's that your saying? I can't hear you. Speak up. 11:35 a.m. - 2003-02-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||