mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What A Hard Days Work Gets You A couple of weeks ago I received a letter from my mortgage company, Big Ass Banking Institution. I opened it and smiled. The monthly bill inside was about $50.00 less than we had been paying and I was happy to find that they had lowered our payments a bit especially when you consider they raised them about $150.00 at this time last year. You see there's this little thing called "escrow" that covers your taxes and some other incidentals and apparently my mortgage company underestimated this amount when they originally funded my loan. So after a small hissy fit and some good old fashion shit flinging I gave in and revised our budget and paid Big Ass Banking Institution all the blood money they were asking. It hurt like a bitch but we got used to it. I was happy that this year looked a little less tight and bleak. An additional $50.00 can go father than you expect in the grand scheme of things. Tonight on a whim I decided to review our current bills. It was then that I realized that Big Ass Banking Institution was not actually giving me a lower bill as I had originally thought. As a matter of fact, the bill they sent was a demand for additional money in the amount of $150.00 per month. Of course they were generous enough to offer me the option to pay my increased escrow all in one shot (thus the bill amount that was not a monthly payment but just another bill). So I made a multitude of calls to a multitude of people and reached the same decision I had reached a year ago. I have to pay. Again. My property taxes went up and my mortgage insurance is still raping the pocketbook. More budget cuts will be made (bye bye eating) and we'll struggle a little longer. Sucks. And this leads me my next rant....people I have been working steadily since I was fourteen years old. This is more than half my life and I'm not even thirty yet. Seriously, I have no serious breaks in my employment history of sixteen years. I have also been living on my own since I was seventeen. This includes paying rent, utilities, and essentials like food and clothes. I was brought up to believe that if you stand on your own two feet, play by the basic rules, and work hard you'll get ahead. Well, I am here to say bullshit! You know what I have to show for all my ambition and independence folks? Debt - lots and lots of debt. Home debt, auto debt, credit card debt - I got it all. I look at some of the people I know (not friends mind you), people who have lived at home for way too long in their adult lives, people who couldn't figure out how to get their utilities turned on if their lives depended on it, people who expect others will take care of them, and you know what? I'm envious. They have no debt. They live the life of Reilly. They never feel shame for all they owe to others. As a matter of fact, "owe" is a concept they just don't get. You see, for them it is all well deserved. The world is their oyster. Bastards. Now before you all get too worried about me going postal (can I even use that term or is it sooo over?), let me say I am well aware that many of you are exactly where I am at. You work hard. You try to plan for your future without pillaging the resources of friends and family. You have debt and a long term plan of paying it all off. I know I can and will get through this. I'll go out to dinner a little less and I'll comparison shop for the necessities a little more. Perhaps we'll get raises that will cover a bit of the debt. It'll be taken care of. I know it will. But just once, just one time, I want to be the person who doesn't have to work so hard to cover their own ass you know? Just once I want to be the blood sucking leach who relies on the kindness of others to get by. Just once I want to be free from it all. 8:04 p.m. - 2004-01-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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