mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Fear That Insanity May Run In His Family Oh, thank you all for cheering me up! I'm feeling much better today (although it's only just beginning so stay tuned). Would you like to know what was bugging me yesterday? It was THE IMPENDING VISIT OF THE INLAWS! I know I've said a bit about ol' Ma and Pa Monkeyface before but it's hard to capture their real essence with mere words. They seriously defy all logic. I'll try to give you a few examples of their behavior in order to provide at least a little insight. Let me say in advance that what you are about to witness is 100% nonfiction and is in no way exaggerated. You have been warned. Once upon a time, the Monkeyface family brought home a dog named Mack. The Monkeyface children quickly became attached to Mack. The loved to walk him and play with him and do all the things kids and puppies do. One day, the door to the Monkeyface residence was left ajar and Mack wandered out into the street where he was immediately hit by a car and promptly died. The Monkeyface children were very sad so Dad Monkeyface brought home a new dog named Indian. Indian was an Irish setter who had been found in the parking lot of a McDonald's. They kids fell hard for Indian and began to move past their grief over Mack. They all moved to the suburbs where Indian promptly escaped from the yard, never to be seen again. Whether anyone ever went to look for him is unclear. Still reeling from the loss of two dogs in under a year, the Faces procured a small orange kitten named Tiger. Tiger came to live with the Face family while still just 6 weeks old. He made it to only his eighth week of life before being run over by a car in front of the families suburban home. Apparently, someone forgot to close the door again. Since changing pet types didn't seem to alleviate the problem, the Monkeyfaces resumed collecting dogs from the pound. Their next dog, which I will call Doomed, was smarter than his predecessors. You see he was able to take himself for a walk and return unscathed. I have known a dog or two in my lifetime who was able to cross a street but apparently Doomed was super special because he could cross streets, curb himself, and do all sorts of things that your average canine needs a human companion for. And thus it was determined that he should be allowed to roam at will. Unfortunately, Doomed didn't seem to understand the meaning of trespassing and so it was that a certain neighbor who was fed up with having Doomed poop on his property fired his shotgun and ended Doomed's life. Never the type to give up, the Monkeyface's adopted two more dogs, Pepper and Painter. Soon after the adoption of these dogs, they all moved down to the Virgin Islands. Both Pepper and Painter were furry dogs not exactly made for warm climates but much like the Monkeyface children, some of whom were forced to attend four different high schools due to frequent moves, they went where they were told to go without question. The Islands are well know for having large groups of feral dogs which freely traverse the terrain. Pepper and Painter took up with such a group. In the morning they'd run down the hill to the beach with the pack and not be seen again till evening. Several times the dogs returned covered in blood and there was frequent changes in the pack members. New dogs appeared and old ones dissapeared. No one thought to question these transformations. Apparently, it didn't worry the Faces that their domestic dogs were becoming wild animals. And then one day, Pepper didn't return. The other dogs again returned covered in blood. Pepper was getting old and the Face clan had witnessed some of the other dogs picking on him from time to time but they never considered that the dogs were actually a pack of wild cannibals. Painter was immediately confined to the house until one day ....... well I think you know where this is all going - open door, lack of care, death, etc. Anyway, my in-laws are visiting us for a week and then returning to the East Coast where they are set to move into a new condo. When we asked why they were moving again (they had just settled into their last place) they told us they were sick of all the rules at the current pad, especially the one about no pets, You see, they really miss having a dog and are planning to get another one as soon as possible. 10:49 a.m. - 2002-11-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||