mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary

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The Art of Being Selfish

I want to truly thank MollybyGolly for her astute guestbook observation about what�s missing from my life. Why duh�.it�s babies! I�m off to work on getting knocked up right now so I can feel fulfilled and whole because I hear that works out great.

The thing about saying you don�t want children is that no one ever believes you. They think that you are being difficult or ignorant, or trying to be controversial. To paraphrase Binnie Kirshenbaum they believe that I am a woman missing parts � �either I have no ovaries or I have no heart.� I assure you I possess all of the above.

My decision not to have children sometimes is seen as an open invitation to criticize and cast judgment on my life. People will either insinuate that I am selfish or occasionally tell me outright that this is how they feel. Whatever I choose to devote my time, money, and efforts to is undoubtedly shallow and worthless. The bottom line is line is that these people have children because they want kids much in the same way I do not want them. That we both are, in essence, selfish is lost on them.

Another tactic certain individuals like to utilize when attacking my lifestyle choices is to turn to my spouse and interrogate him on his reproductive agenda, as if we�d never discussed this before. �How do you feel about this,� they�ll ask suspiciously. They are openly disappointed when Pete affirms that this was a mutual decision, that in fact we discussed this early on in our dating and were both equally relieved to learn that we shared a similar philosophy on the matter.

There are those that try to sell me the idea of motherhood by stating it �will completely change my life.� I have no doubt that it would but here�s the thing, I ultimately am very pleased with my life. I don�t want it to completely change and if I did, I think I�d move to Central America and open a monkey rehabilitation clinic. Now that�s the sort of change I can really get behind.

In closing, I want to make it clear that I don�t begrudge anyone the experience of motherhood. I have friends who are creating wonderful and beautiful families and I love spending time with their children. However, I can�t possibly understand why anyone would feel animosity towards my right to live as I see fit.

8:26 p.m. - 2006-02-07

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