mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bummed Out Sigh....I feel really exhausted. Pete's off in Boston at a training seminar for the week. Aside from the fact that I loathe travel for business, it's a pretty crappy week for him to be gone. Tomorrow marks the anniversary of my grandmothers passing and it is bound to be an emotional day for me. I have friends on-call in case I need a pick me up but it would be nice to have Pete here too. I suppose I should feel worse for Pete. His family is in Boston and he'll have to put up with massive dysfunction on a level I couldn't stand every evening after class. In fact, the dysfunction really started before he even left. There's a stupid chair his parents purchased that Pete enjoyed decades ago when he lived with them in the islands. It's a semi-antique, plantation owners chair. She's been trying to get Pete to take this chair to our home for the last seven years but the thing is, we don't actually want it. It would be too difficult to ship and we simply don't need more crap. If we wanted a plantation chair, I'd just go get one. Plus, the one thing I've learned in almost six years of marriage is that nothing Pete's parents give you comes without strings. As a result of this lesson, I avoid "gifts" at all costs. In fact, I've asked Pete to suggest we skip exchanging presents this year since most gifts we receive from his parents are so "off" we just carry them to the Salvation Army on the 26th. Did I tell you that last year Pete got a Red Sox/Patriots sweatshirt that read "New England: City of Champions." I'm not sure what's more messed up - the fact that some one thinks New England is a city or the sad concept that Pete's family thinks he's a sports fan. Seven years of marriage and I've never seen him watch a game on TV. In other crapp ass news, so far the remodel concept is dragging me down. It's so complicated and expensive. Too many damn rules about what you can and can't do. We have two more appointments with architects next week. I hope to hear something that doesn't make me want to slit my wrists. We did drive by a few homes in our area that looked good but they were all at the tip top of our price range and will require a level of belt tightening I may not have the stomach for. I know what a brat I sound like here .... I want a big, beautiful house and I don't want to give up anything. I like buying shoes and handbags on a whim and dining out whenever I get the urge. I swear to you all that I have lived very modestly at time (see the years 1990 - 1998) and I'm by no means spoiled but I just feel like I work hard, and I put forth a good effort and some luxuries should be available to me. We were speaking with our neighbor Rick the other day and he made a good point about "need" and "want." I talk about "needing" more room but really I "want" more room. I wonder what this says about me. Something petty and material I am sure. God I am a depressing mope today. Okay lets talk about something positive for a minute .....I just booked a ski cabin for the weekend of the 9th. It has a hottub and a fireplace and it should be cozy and romantic. A few weeks later we will be in Belize and there will be monkeys. I only have three more classes this semester. I expect to get straight A's. I've gotten positive feedback on my published article. I petted a really cute puppy mastiff this weekend. I met with my personal trainer this AM and we put together a new and exciting program. Uh, yeah this list isn't lifting my spirits at all. I guess some days you just need to let yourself be bummed out. 11:48 a.m. - 2005-11-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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