mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary

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Spreading Myself Thin

I feel like lately every time I come here to write I start out with some lame "Woo doggie, have I ever been busy...." Today is no different.

Somehow I have managed to take on many new projects. I am a sucker for a good cause and going to school with a bunch of other nonprofit managers really just exposes me to so many fantastic programs I'd never imagined existed before. In the last month, I've run a 5K for gay teenagers in need of scholarships, signed on to write for our local homeless newspaper, and joined up to be a running buddy to an at-risk girl between the ages of 9-11.

I've also become a pretty big pain in the ass to all who know me. The begging others to get involved never ends. I think friends might be beginning to avoid me because I'm always ready with a cause for them to champion. "Hey, what are you doing Saturday? Wanna go walk three legged dogs at the site of the future sculpture park? Come on....it's for a really cause! Art for K-9's. They are one great organization." Last night I asked Pete if he'd be interested in going to Gay Bingo (all proceeds go to the Lifelong Aids Alliance). I have begun many a request the last few months with "Would you be interested in....." At this point Pete usually cuts me off and just asks what it is I expect him to do and for what underprivileged and oppressed group will we be marching or singing or running or hula hooping.

I gave a second speech last night in my Persuasive Communications class. It was an improvement over the first (which was stilted and uncomfortable) but I'm still not too keen on public speaking. It's strange. You know, I haven't a shy bone in my body and I can truly talk to just about anybody. I don't even mind being the center of attention. But put me in a formal setting where the conversation is one-way and I feel ridiculous and self-conscious. I put less time into preparing this speech and even performed it without notes but it seemed to go far better then the first (which I had gone over and over till I felt sick). I was glad to have it done. However, when we went to play it back on the video, we discovered that the volume had been shut off on the mic. So guess what? I had to do the damn thing a second time!!! Sigh. Luckily, it actually went better the second time. I was able to hit on a few key points I'd missed the first time around and I even moved around the room a bit without looking like Frankenstein. I'll get to see the playback next class.

Cliques have started to form in the class and as per my standard academic style, I am drawn to the group that sits in the last row and makes snarky comments about everything. Or maybe that group is drawn to me. I was recently telling my crew a story about how in the sixth grade I decided to become popular and put together a strategic plan for my rise to popularity. It was based mostly on material things like owning five Swatch watches and always wearing a minimum of two watches at once. Also, I needed to have a rat tail. It was a key element in my transformation. So as you may have guessed, popularity didn't materialize for me that year. It would be two more years till I discovered the true secret to being popular - putting out. I thought about giving this as my oral presentation last night but decided to go with a story about the hygiene service center downtown. I am still not sure I made the right decision but I guess if people don't like what I have to say, I'll just be slutty and win them over that way.

10:52 a.m. - 2005-10-19

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