mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary

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Fw: Fw: Fw: Of An Alarmist Right Wing Internet Myth

Don't know if I ever told you how much the Monster-In-Laws enjoy forwarding on crap via email. I know most people stopped forwarding jokes, stories, prayers, etc. in 1998 but not the old Monsters. They just adore providing us with up to date information on things like the cruelty of Bonsai Kittens and how John Edwards is solely responsible for the flu vaccine shortage. Basically, they feel it is their duty to keep us informed in the very same way that Fox News does. Aren't we lucky?

Recently, Pete received an email from his parents that explained in great detail how Teresa Heinz Kerry owns Heinz, a company that outsources much of its work abroad and what a hypocrite John Kerry is to say he's against sending jobs overseas, etc. You get the point right? The following is a response that Pete sent to all the recipients. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did (and goddamn my husband is the funniest, wittiest man ever - not to mention so damn fine).

From: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, October 26, 2004 2:13 PM
To: [email protected]
Cc: A Whole Lot Of Unfortunate People Who Were Dumb Enough To Give Up Their Email Addresses To My Parent
Subject: Fwd: Check your Heinz bottles

Why, what could this be? An e-mail from my parents? And at my work address no less! Must be important...let's see. Oh yes, there it is - broadcast spam.

Huzzah! Oh happy day! Joy be unto our hearts! Pray tell, what fantastic tidbit of truth could they be bestowing on me now? Ah, it is yet another fw: fw: fw: of an alarmist right-wing Internet myth easily debunked with a simple google search:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/heinz.asp

Whew! For a minute there I thought that this was going to be the one about how George W. Bush is a monster who likes to eat Iraqi babies dipped in the blood of conscripted US soldiers forced into the Army by a corrupt economic system (controlled by the Dick Cheney/Halliburton/Zionist Illuminati) while rolling around on all of the money he's made by pretending to be really stupid in public but really being a super-genius who orchestrated the 9/11 attacks (over the Internets) in order to manipulate the oil markets while imposing sweeping new restrictions on the rights of American citizens in an effort to bring about the rise of the fourth Reich.

Also, Elvis is controlling the weather using "communication" satellites from his hidden base inside the face on mars. Please put on your tinfoil hat and send this e-mail to 50 of your friends or else the wealthy Nigerian who contacted me yesterday about male enhancement is going to tell all of his friends in China to jump up and down at the same time, knocking the Earth out of orbit and killing us all. Oh, and god will make a miracle happen for a little girl who has lost her puppy. :_(

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO MAKE SURE THEY HAVE THE FACTS!!!1!1!!!11!1!!!1!

Have a great Halloween!

9:42 a.m. - 2004-10-29

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