mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Divas Aren't Even Up At 6:00 AM I am a pretty regimented person. No really, I am. Don't let this journal fool you with it's carefree design and whimsical fonts. I am a gal who thrives on routine. Without it, I freak out like Rainman at the airport. Part of my day to day schedule involves my 6:00 AM exercise plan. Monday and Wednesday, I take a step class, Tuesday and Thursday, I run and lift weights. Friday, I do the elliptical machine and cycle. Saturday and Sunday are up for grabs with potential for a hike or a long walk or a bike ride although I allow myself to sleep in on the weekends. And somewhere in all of this, I fit in a Pilates class (which is going very well I must say). For the last year, I have had the same step aerobics instructor. Her name is Jen and I just love her to pieces. She seems to really understand her class. She is able to accurately gauge their fitness levels, provides decent modification for those varied levels, and always seems aware that it is in fact the butt crack of dawn and no one needs to have someone being all Miss Mary Sunshine on your ass. She just has us do our thing, nothing outrageous, enough to get your heart rate up and your blood pumping and everybody's happy. About two weeks ago the club replaced Jen. To say I was devastated is an understatement. I adore Jen. In her presence, I did not feel uncoordinated or silly, a condition I am prone to when being forced to dance about to the type of music most commonly heard on "Now That's What I Call Music" Volume # 1058. In fact, Jen knew to keep the dancing to a minimum and really ramp up the stepping. The class was more about getting a decent cardio work out rather than learning a choreographed bit like you'd see in a Britney Spears video and that appealed to me and I think I can safely say the other early birds as well. Enter Gary, our new aerobics instructor. Gary is twenty years old, fit as a fiddle, and prettier than I could ever hope to be. He was a former male cheerleader and model and he loves to go clubbing. Right off the bat, I could tell we had lots in common - not. But I decided to give him a chance because really, what other choice did I have? I do step Mondays and Wednesdays and that cannot change. Must do step. Peoples Court at 4:30. I always buy my underwear at K-mart, etc. Day one with Gary was painful. Not only did he blare "Vogue" to get us "pumped," he also had us do a lot of call and response which I hate. "Are you feeling it ladies?" Insert sad yelp "yes" here. "I said are you feeling it ladies?!! I can't hear you! Louder!" "Yes." "I still can't hear you!" And so on. Gah! Gary also loves to dance. He likes to Mambo and Charleston and Cabbage Patch. I don't like to do any of these things. That's why I step. Anyone can step up and down. It's like doing the stairmaster only less tedious. Sure there's some hoping around but it should be minimal, like pogoing, and Gary just doesn't see that. He's all "Let's Can-Can, now Cha Cha, now spin!" Hello, I got a step here in front of me. I'd like to use it. To make matters worse, I found that I was spending so much time watching Gary and trying to follow him that my heart rate plummeted and my workout was completely negligible. I think the final straw was on day three when Gary shouted out "I'll make Divas out of you all yet!" I didn't tell Gary at the time but Divas don't take the 6:00 AM class. In fact, Divas aren't even up at 6:00 AM. Divas are still sleeping off their hangovers. Divas take the 6:00 PM class and that's where Gary needs to go. Only working stiffs like myself are up at 6:00 AM and I don't have any desire to be a Diva. I just want to do step aerobics, that's all. Is that too much to ask for? So today after class I filed a complaint and also a plea to bring back my dear Jen so I can keep with my routine. I have a short term plan till Gary gets canned. It involves the stairmaster and the community pool but it doesn't really feel like it belongs within my regiment and in the end I may end up switching clubs. It's either that or learn to tolerate doing the Lambada before sunrise. 3:13 p.m. - 2004-09-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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