mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary

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There Are The Kind of Girls You Bring Home to Mom And The Kind of Girls You Just Bring Home

I have a friend who wants to be sluttier. Wait, wait...that's not exactly right. That implies that she's kind of slutty to begin with and nothing could be further from the truth. I mean the girl puts out and all but not for just anyone. I guess by definition a slut must put out for everyone and well she doesn't want to do that. She has standards, you know. Let's start over. I have a friend who would like to date casually. She'd like to see more than one man at a time. Not the same hour or anything, but like maybe go out with Brad on a Tuesday and Matt on a Thursdays, you know - date. The problem is that every man she meets want to get serious and have an exclusive relationship.

I often give her helpful advice like "Maybe you're simply not working hard enough at being a woman of questionable morals. I have an idea, next time you meet a guy you like, rather than take him home, just do it with him in the bathroom of a bar or something." Of course, one should remember I've been in a monogamous relationship for a long time now and my dating skills are probably rusty. Do people even "do it" in restrooms anymore or is it all about the back alley these days? Does anyone say "do it"?

I have another friend who is dying to settle down. She's done with dating. She wants to be in a one-on-one relationship but every guy she meets wants to keep it casual. I give her the opposite advice. "Well, don't put out right away," I say. "Take things slow. No sex in the men's room." She completely ignores me and she remains single. I'm not sure the two things have anything to do with each other.

I wish there was a way I could have the two women swap situations but you know, it's all about personality. It's all about how each of those women presents themselves. Friend # 1 could wear tube tops, miniskirts and stilettos and still be type of girl you'd like to bring home to mom. Friend # 2 screams "good times" even when she trying to convey an air of seriousness and commitment. And then there's the fact that the grass is always greener. I'm sure Friend # 1 might not mind if a few of the men she hooked up with never called her again but if they all did that, what then? Friend # 2 probably thinks it would be fantastic to have man after man vying for her hand in marriage but what happens each time you have to break the news to that fella that he's not "the one?" Breaking up is totally unfun.

The real lesson in all of this seems to be for me. I'm so damn happy to be done with the Wide World of Singledom. It reminds me of that line in "When Harry Met Sally." Carrie Fisher turns to Bruno Kirby and says "Please tell me I'll never have to be out there again?" and he says, in the most reassuring voice, "You'll never have to be out there again." Swoon and sigh.

5:21 p.m. - 2004-08-25

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