mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary

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A Very Sex In The City Episode of Mrs. Roboto

Last night myself and several lovely ladies (including RDG) met up for drinks on Cap Hill to celebrate Monkey's new J-O-B. Alas, Monkey was ill and could not attend the festivities but we rallied the troops and soldiered on in our mission to commemorate her accomplishments. We are good friends like that. Isn't she lucky to have us?

The venue was new to our little group. Not a one of us had been there before but all of us were interested in checking it out. You see, the bar is actually a converted funeral parlor. Okay, I know what you're thinking. You're imagining dozens of pigmentless youths brooding about in black capes as Bauhaus plays in the background and smoke from clove cigarettes swirls through the air. Well you couldn't be more off base.

The Chapel Bar was actually quite bright with white furnishings and sunshine streaming in through the stained glass windows. And the crowd was also colorful and beautiful and entirely male. That's right, we women were completely surrounded by handsome and well dressed men, one more gorgeous than the next. Can it get any better than that? Maybe it could, if even a one of these gents was heterosexual.

Actually, this was really no big deal since none of the ladies are on the market right now and truly the last thing you need at a ladies night is some pervy boy trying to pick you or your friends up. But did you know that there is a certain phenomenon that happens when a group of gals gather in a bar that's heavily dominated by gay men? I call it the Estrogen Explosion and basically means that there is a great deal of talk about menstruation, birth control, and sex.

Estrogen Explosions can only occur in a gay bar. You may get a small outbreak in a het club but most likely the ladyfest will be curbed back. You see, we know the straight men are listening, and we are not about to let them overhear our secrets. No way. Although, today on this very "Sex in the City" edition of Mrs. Roboto, I will let you in on a little snippet of our conversation.

"Seriously, have you ever read the instructions on a box of tampons?"

"Yes, they are just insane."

"It's like raise your left leg in front of your left hip. Hook left knee over your left shoulder. Straddle toilet bowl with the remaining leg. Insert tampon and spin around twice for good measure."

"Hell, I ain't that coordinated. I just shove the damn thing up there."

See what you straight men are missing?

12:08 p.m. - 2004-06-24

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