mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Beam Me Up To 5th and Virginia Please Some of you may already know that Emerald City is building a monorail. If you've ever seen the Simpsons episode where Springfield gets a monorail you pretty much understand the state of things in our city ( Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend? Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend). Ground has yet to broken and already many cracks are arising in this plan to propel our town into the future of mass transit. I could tell you a dozen good reasons I object to this project (read here if you're really interested) but the truth of the matter is that my opposition all comes down to one simple phrase" "Let's Monorail!" "Let's Monorail!" is the catchy slogan selected by monorail supporters to chant and paint on their posters. But monorail is not a verb, it is a noun. One can no more "monorail" than one can "airplane" or "car." You may fly or drive. This is perfectly acceptable. "Let's ride the monorail" is also acceptable. I do know a few select people who say "let's jet." These people are idiots and should be shot. Should this thing ever actually come to fruition, I will mercy-kill anyone who asks me to "monorail" with them. Lest you think I am a complete ass about mass transit, I want to remind you that I grew up riding the subway in NYC. I like mass transit, I really do. Some of my fondest childhood memories revolve around the N train. I was able to run much further away from my parents then I could if I was on foot. Still a subway is a subway and a monorail is a way to get from the parking lot to Epcot Center. Do you know what I mean? Monorails seem really sissified to me. You just know the London Tube and the DC Metrorail are going to be picking on it all the time, stealing it's lunch money and pushing it down in the school yard. And what can our single tracked vehicle do to defend itself against these bullies? Nothing because these other guys are bigger, stronger, and faster. Seattle doesn't need a monorail, it needs a Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame. Oh we have one of those already? Then how about teletransporters? 4:02 p.m. - 2004-05-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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