mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All Shades Of Khaki Last weekend was spent in pursuit of some new outdoor gear for the Costa Rican adventure. With one week left to go before our departure we realized we were all out of several necessary items for our trek. For example, we had used all our Deet last summer and our hiking socks needed to be replaced. I had no sunscreen (as it's hardly ever necessary here) and could definitely use some light weight hiking pants. So off we went to every damn outdoor store in the Emerald City in search of out of season items. Now I am not going to lie. I love shopping. I can spend hours at a vintage store trying on one ball gown after another without so much as a hint of frustration. I could be locked in Nordstrom's for days and never grow bored. I enjoy visiting Value Village with $20.00 and seeing just how many items I can purchase with my money. If there's cute clothes involved, I am there. I adore dressing up. It's my one really girlie trait. But despite this passion for acquiring attire, I hate shopping for functional clothes. I abhor trying on pair after pair of mosquito repellent pants in varying shades of tan. I cannot stand looking through dozens of button up shirts that tote their sun protective qualities or trying to select a pair of functional sandals (I hate Tevas with a passion so strong I normally reserve it for white guys with dreadlocks playing hackie sack). There are a couple of reasons for my intense dislike of outdoor clothing. To begin with, it's all very ugly. Don't try to deny it - it is. I have seven pairs of shorts specifically designed for hiking and not a one of them is flattering. They have an excess of pockets and silly looking built in belts for cinching around the waist. They are dull in color and utilize far too much Velcro in their designs. The blouses are no better with these bland button up styles and always in an earth tone plaid fabric. Need I mention earth tones and I do not mix? I look my best in black and my second best in a deep emerald green or a burgundy. None of these colors are utilized in outdoor attire. Nothing even close. I also think that most outdoor clothing is designed by men with a man in mind. Sure, it may say "women's" on the tag but no woman would ever EVER put additional pockets on the hip region of a garment. Also the styles do not contour to the curves of a woman's body. Instead they are broad and linear and basically make even the smallest of ladies look like a big rectangle. And here is the kicker, outdoor clothing is expensive as all hell! Seriously, what is with that? Functional clothes should not be so pricey. I can totally get down with the idea that haute couture should cost cold hard cash. It is, after all, just a luxury item but damn to have to pay real money for unattractive threads that you're only going to sweat in??!!! That just seems unreasonable. Crazy even. So what to do? In the end I buy the high priced, insect retardant pants, big ass floppy sun hat, and muted button up shirt that make me look like I'm playing Safari Adventurer. I get myself a new pair of waterproof hiking boots (with everlast soles - the last pair had lost all tread) and strap on a platypus for extra nerdiness and just go for it. And to compensate for all the blandness, I buy a cute pair of board shorts and a baby tee from Hobie and only pose for pictures on our beach days. Oh and if you want a postcard drop me a line here! I'll be checking email till mid Saturday so give me a holler before then.
3:27 p.m. - 2004-02-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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