mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mrs-Roboto Lashes Out At Innocent Bystanders Some people have been nice enough to wonder where I've been and what I've been up to. I'll admit, the updates have been infrequent and yes, I've been a busy girl. Between flying to Boston on a moments notice, preparing for my parents impending visit this upcoming weekend plus the everyday life activities, it feels as if there's barely a moment to spare. And feeling so maxed out doesn't do a heck of a lot for my personality. Actually, it makes me downright ornery. Just ask the sales clerk at Crate and Barrel. You see, much of this last weekend was spent putting the Money Pit back in order. We finished up the detailing on the living room floor on Saturday after only what two, three months? Who knows? Time just flies when your having so much fun! So yes, the trim was installed, the room repainted, and finally all the furniture which had been relocated to the dining room, master bedroom, and guest bedroom was moved back in. You may remember that Pete and I had been sitting in folding chairs in the center of the living room watching a television which sat directly on the floor for the last three months. It was a slice of heaven to sit on a couch again eye level with the Real World/ Road Rules Challenge. Go Ruthie, go! But as with every project nearing completion, I noticed a few loose ends that needed tying up (especially considering we have company arriving on Friday). One of the first things I realized once all was back in order was that our linens in the master bedroom needed to be switched out for Spring/Summer. Problem #1 - I don't own Spring/Summer bedding. Being a newbie to the whole homemaker thing (and only being a part timer at that) I have yet to acquire seasonal linens yet I know it is essential to achieving proper Feng Shui and that is most important to me as I am sure you know. I had seen a duvet cover at the downtown Crate and Barrel a few weeks ago that really knocked my socks off. It had Mexican embroidery and was a beautiful deep red. Unfortunately, our bedroom is also red (and a different shade at that) and the cover did not come in another color, and so it was not meant to be said the Gods of Feng Shui!. I decided my next best bet was to go find an inexpensive white cotton duvet and some gauzy white curtains and call it good. White - Memorial Day- The Rules of Design-this should all work out fine, I thought. And so after reading Nicole's most recent entry at Homewreckers, I was inspired to take a trip to Ikea, Seattle (which is actually located in the suburb of Renton about a billion miles from the city proper - Hey Ingmar, this is most misleading and deceptive on your part - damn, tricky Scandinavians). After our last experience with Ikea, Pete was reluctant to return but the lure of cheap crap and pickled herring proved irresistible. We arrived just as the superstore was opening and after fifteen or twenty minutes of figuring out how to put our cart together (I swear, the little rolling ones with the bag had us completely puzzled as our bag was missing and we couldn't figure out how our stuff would remain in the cart - we were convinced there was some marvel of engineering that we were missing till we saw another couple insert a bag on the protruding prongs of the cart), we were off. Ikea is a great place to purchase assorted things you don't need. We now are the proud owners of 200 multicolored straws. Anyone want to come over and blow spitballs at my neighbors? I also bought six lanterns because you can never have enough lanterns. But aside from the frivolous purchases, I found a white, pleated duvet cover and some flowy white curtains and these sassy little curtain rods. Mission accomplished, right? Well, not exactly. After putting the duvet cover on the bed and hemming and hanging the curtains, I decided we need a matching bedskirt and these pillows from Crate and Barrel (if your really smart, you'll catch where this is all heading). By now, Pete had sort of had it with all this shopping and to tell the truth, I wasn't really enjoying it either but I was determined to make things come together. So back into the car and off to the University Village Shopping center we went. For those of you not familiar with the University Village, let me assure you that you do not wish to be. The UV is a completely artificial environment - it's supposed to appear like a quaint small town center but is filled to the brim with the corporate giants. I think there are roughly nine Starbucks in the UV. The promoters of this environment are bold enough to describe it as "like being in your own private neighborhood that has a convenient place to shop, relax, and enjoy the atmosphere. The Village's shops and restaurants are connected by pedestrian promenades, complete with benches and lovely seasonal plantings." Relax and enjoy the atmosphere......I think not. People in the UV are aggressively looking to beat you out of a parking spot. There is much flipping off of other drivers happening and far too many giggling sorority girls seeking out the Banana Republic for my liking but as I said earlier I needed those pillows and this Crate and Barrel was on the way to the dog park. So I could kill two birds with one stone - get pillows and run the puppies - go me! I devised a plan with Pete. I'd jump out of the rolling car as soon as he got close enough to the Crate and Barrel, run in, grab the pillows, check out, and be back in the car before he even had to park. I sprung into action as we rolled up on old C & B. I dashed through the doors and bounded up the steps, and checked both level one and two but I didn't see a pillow even close to those I wanted. Where were they?!! The downtown store featured the pillows prominently in their display!!! What the f*ck?!! I had to go, go, go! A full two minutes had passed. I was supposed to be back in the car by now damnit! I found a sales clerk and immediately began harassing her. "Where are those Mexican pillows?!! I need the Mexican pillows!!! The downtown store has Mexican pillows - must have pillows!!!" The girl asked me to slow down and explain to her what they looked like. "Well they are red and black and they have embroidery on them." "Ma'am," she said nicely. "I don't recall seeing them." "Well," I responded haughtily, "they were in the store downtown and they are totally on the front page of your Spring catalogue, for the love of gawd!" I huffed and puffed as the girl ran off to get a catalogue desperately trying to appease the monster that is me. By now I was fifteen minutes off schedule. "Um," she said patiently, "Here's our Spring edition but I don't see anything like that in here." I grabbed it out of her hands and flipped through it. "This must be new 'cause the other catalogue had better stuff. You know what, I'll just go to your store downtown because clearly you don't have your act together here." "Downtown Bellevue," she asked. "No, duh," I said like a true byatch. "Downtown Seattle, in Pacific Place." "Well," she said nicely. "We don't have a store down there. You must be thinking of Pottery Barn." Opps....I am a true jerk when I get into that mode. I don't stop to think. It's the New Yorker in me really. I can contain it when I'm not stressed but the minute things get hairy (or I've had too much booze), out she comes. I felt awful. I started to tear up. She's right, the pillows are at Pottery Barn. I apologized profusely and began telling her about all my time in retail and how I hated when people behaved the way I just did. I plan to write a letter to her supervisor saying how good she was and how I really deserved a bitch slap. Of course, by the time I got out of there, Pete had shot three people in order to get a parking spot. On a positive note, there's a Pottery Barn at the UV so we cruised over, I ran in and got the pillows (and they had them in white - woohoo), dashed back out to the truck, and off to the dog park we went. The bedroom looks just gorgeous and if I have time tonight I'll post a picture. In the meanwhile, remember to be good to sales people. They don't need your crap. 11:36 a.m. - 2003-05-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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