mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Heart That Was Two Sizes Too Small We're back from Boston at long last. Okay, it was only four days but it felt like eons. The Monsters-In-Law are doing fine. FIL's new heart is tick-tick-ticking away. His color looks good and his sass mouth (did I just use the expression "sass mouth"?) is in full effect. He should be able to leave the hospital tomorrow. The nurses must be relieved to get rid of the old, cantankerous bastard. We watched him berate them on a fairly regularly basis over the weekend. He likes to call the weekend staff the "B" team and comment that they aren't smart enough to get a full time nursing position. It would be fine if he only graced us (his immediate family) with his opinions but he has no problem sharing his point of view with the hospital staff themselves. Hey there brainiac, these guys administer your meds and stick you with needles. These are not people you want to upset. In other heart related news, FIL and FIL's one friend (also a former member of Boston's Finest) were happily surmising who might have been the heart donor on Saturday while we visited. FIL's Friend: "Perhaps you'se got a Black heart and now you'll have rhythm (insert maniacal laughter here)!" FIL: "Nah, I think I got a Puerto Rican heart 'cause I wanna snatch handbags - ha ha ha!" FIL's Friend: "Maybe you'se got a Lesbian heart and now you'll like men." - I know this makes no sense. Don't ask. I didn't. FIL: "I think I got a woman's heart and now they'll be two bitches in the house." This one was said right in front of MIL and though I'm no big fan of MIL, I was getting downright ill with the commentary and couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore. Mrs-Roboto: "Sounds to me like you got a White Supremacists heart." Monkeyface: "Or maybe they just stuck the same heart you've always had back in there dad." Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Additional weekend highlights include my MIL giving a sales pitch to my parents about her new career in real estate. Yep, she's an agent and you know if you ever need to move anywhere in the world she can refer you. She then handed out business cards that had her picture on them and the picture is from fifteen years ago. Can you say "vanity?" We won't even get into the social error of attempting to strike a business deal with only the second set of people who were not immediate family to visit your husband in the hospital. Is it a wonder they only have about two friends? Oh and then my parents were making some small talk about an upcoming trip to Hawaii and the various tours they were looking at. One option is a hike through the rainforest. When this was mentioned, MIL turned to my mother and said "Mrs-R's Mom, you can't possibly go to the rainforest, you'll burn it down with your smoking." Now I was waiting for my mom to lay the lady out flat. Talk about rudeness but my mother once again wowed me with her quick wit. "Actually Mrs-Monkeyface's Mom, the rainforest is wet and thus it's probably very difficult to set aflame so I should be alright." Oh how I love my mom! Actually the highlight of the weekend was seeing my mom, dad, and sister and realizing just how lucky I am to have them. So family, I don't say it enough but you guys rule. There's more to talk about like my FIL's belief that Walmart has brought civilized life and a sense of community to the great state of Maine (what with those minimum wage jobs and unrecorded overtime for which the workers never get paid) or his scientific study in diesel cars versus hybrid autos (diesel is better for the environment, you know) but it'll have to wait for another time. I'll leave you with this - FIL is getting out of the hospital on Friday with more pep and energy then I've ever seen him have. Free world beware! 10:22 a.m. - 2003-05-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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