mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Budget Living Last night, while standing around at the freaky Safeway by my house, waiting for my prescription to be filled, I stumbled into the magazine aisle to waste some time. Now, truth be told, I only buy magazines when I am waiting in an airport. The rest of the time I avoid those glossy gems like the plague. I receive three magazines through the mail; Western Outdoors, National Geographic Traveler, and World Wrestling Entertainment. The latter was a gag gift Pete was given by my sister-in-law for his 30th birthday. Thank god Pete will soon be 31 and the subscription will expire. I'm running out of wall space for all the centerfold pictorials of Golddust and the Rock. My issue with magazines is this - not enough bang for your buck. Fashion magazines with articles like "11 Sex Moves Men Wish We'd Try" and "Dream Hair - Finally!" make me gag. What a waste of trees. I have talked about my distaste for these things before. I will admit to occasionally checking out a gardening or cooking magazine while waiting online at a grocery store but mainly I just scan, put the rag back on the shelf, and look the article or recipe up later on line. Magazines themselves are a very frivolous items in my opinion, something I'm not willing to spend my money on only to look at for an hour or two and then throw it in the recycle bin. It's weird where I draw the lines. Twenty five pairs of shoes = completely reasonable expense - one issue of Glamour = an unnecessary, luxury item. Don't ask, there is no logic. So last night, as I perused the racks for diversion, I found a magazine known as Budget Living. My first thought - someone on a budget should definitely not be spending $3.95 on this piece of crap. That's like ten packets of Ramen Pride. Of course, rather than simply put the magazine down and avoid frustrating myself with its inane contents, I decided to critique the whole damn thing. Now, as someone who IS actually on a budget I feel perfectly qualified for this job. There are times when it may sound to you dear readers as if I am not on a budget but those are just moments of weakness. There are times when I cheat my budget, accidentally purchasing $50.00 worth of lipstick at the MAC counter, like sneaking a chocolate bar when you're dieting. It happens and I feel badly but then I get right back on track (with bright pretty lips as an added bonus). Budget Living however seems to have an even looser definition of the word "budget" than I do. For example, there was a two page spread on watering cans. You know, the cute little kind you use for your houseplants that you keep out on your ultra-urban fire escape in the overpriced city you live in? Well at least that's what the magazine portrays. The least expensive watering can was just a few bucks but for a splurge you could spend $55.00 on a space-age looking device that resembled a pod person. Now, I know I am going to sound like an old, cranky lady here ("back in my day we didn't have shoes so I had to wear plastic bags on my feet and walk 18 miles up hill to the coal factory") but if you're on a budget, a real budget, you can just carry your plants to the sink and hold them under the faucet. Even better, skip owning house plants entirely. They cost money too you know. Another article focuses "On Gadgets: You and one of these portable MP3 players will make beautiful digital music together." I currently don't have an MP3 player. You know why? Money is tight and I don't have a lot left over for gadgets. I am on a budget, you know. The last thing I'd like to complain about here is the magazines suggestion to buy vintage clothes and save on your attire. They act as if they were the first people to think about buying things second hand. What a friggin novel idea! If you're on a budget and it just occurred to you to hit the Salvation Army for a new frock or two instead of going to Sax Fifth Avenue, well then you're truly a moron. I've been wearing slightly used clothes for 29 years. It's nothing new, nothing revolutionary. Back when I lived in Boston (and was at my all time poorest) I'd go to the Garment District every Saturday morning and by clothing by the pound. I think it was $.50 per pound back then. You had to dig through piles of junk but it was definitely worth it and it was all I could afford because I was on a budget. So, it has occurred to me that I need to start my own magazine. I think I'll call it "How to Survive On $20.00 Per Week After Rent." This will include tips like "Meals You Can Make With Just Potatoes And Water" and "How to Adequately Clean Your Laundry In The Bathtub With A Bar Of Soap." Maybe I'll do a layout of apartments I've sat around in with friends while we complained about having no money to do anything. And an advice column on how to avoid your creditors when they call (answer phone in Portuguese and repeat "no speak English" a lot). More and more this is sounding like a great idea to me. And I'm willing to take contributions, anybody? 11:57 a.m. - 2003-04-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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