mrs-roboto's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mark Burnett Ain't Got Nothing On Me As you may know, I am a huge fan of reality television. I watch everything - the Real World , the Amazing Race, Survivor, the Osbournes, Anna Nicole, the IT (not as in Informational Technologies) Factor - you name it and I've probably seen at least one episode. I usually consume these shows in blocks, dedicating entire Sundays to mindless entertainment and hangover recovery. I mock the contestants, plot out what characters should do, and generally waste time while waiting for the pizza delivery guy to arrive. Remember when they canceled the Liza Minelli Reality show? Well, I was devastated for days. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, it took all the strength I could muster just to get out of bed. Okay, that's a lie but you know I was pretty disappointed. Recently I learned of a new show that really spoke to me - the Surreal World! Have you heard about this show? Okay, they put has-beens MC Hammer, Cory Feldman, Emmanuel Lewis, Gabrielle Carteris, Vince Neil, Jerri Manthey, and Brande Roderick in a house for ten days and film them round the clock. Do I really need to tell you why this makes for good entertainment? I think not. But sadly, I have yet to see the Surreal World because it aired on book group night and somehow it didn't seem like a decent excuse for cutting out on our discussion. "Excuse me ladies, I'll need to take a pass on intelligent conversation tonight because I hear that Corey Feldman will be appearing sans Corey Haim and that's an experience I can't let pass me by." No, I just don't think so. So this evening Pete was kind enough to recap the show for me. One thing led to another and our talk turned to Corey Haim (who is a huge meth head these days) and how this show would actually be better if they had him too. Yes, for the first time in my life, I was actually hoping for two Coreys for the price of one and then Pete and I had an epiphany. You know what the next big reality TV show should be? Celebrity Rehab!!! Think about it. They could follow a celebrity addict like say Robert Downey Jr. from dealer to dealer watching him get more f*cked up as he went along snorting, or shooting, or whatever it is he does. They could film him crawling into his neighbors windows to catch a catnap in some child's bed. They could catch him pawning his Rolex for a hit of crack. He could babble incoherently about how much it sucked that he was never a real, "official" member of the brat pack. I mean really he has more talent in his pinkie than that lipless Andrew McCarthy, damn it! He should have been the one in St. Elmos Fire. Then, when things looked their bleakest, Downey would be whisked into the Betty Ford Center and treated for his illness. The viewing audience could watch him go through the DT's, pissing, sweating, and vomitting his way to a new, clean life. And the best part? You know with Downey there would definitely be a second season. That guy can't last more than a week without snorting something up his nose. 7:39 p.m. - 2003-01-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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