Tiger Mountain, Issaquah, WA 1/05/02

In case the news has yet to reach you, the Northwest is experiencing some of the most beautiful winter weather ever. It's January, the skies are blue, and the rain has decided to stay at bay for at least a week. I'm in heaven. Yesterday Pete, Desi, and I packed up our stuff and headed off to the woods of Issaquah. Now I know I've said rotten things about Issaquah in the past but I am taking that all back because Tiger Mountain is just stunning. We headed out on a five mile hike up through the moss covered woods, past rushing streams and waterfalls, and out of the underbrush to a splendid view of the majestic mountains. It was truly stunning.

Unfortunately, nothing can remain perfect and this is where my tale gets a bit hairy. You see, we started our trek a little late in the day. For those of you who had any question, I believe Sunday mornings are for sitting around sipping coffee until your bladder bursts. As a result of these heartfelt beliefs, we were unable to reach the trails till just after 1:00 PM. Now, Pete and I are far from speed hikers. We tend to stop a lot and check out the scenery. Add to that my new digital camera and my desire to play around with it and take pretty pics to show here and you have a recipe for a really long hike on your hands. So when we emerged from the woods, the sun was starting to set and we still had to turn around and head back down the hill to the car - another 2.5 miles!

People get lost in the woods all the time in the Northwest. There are tons of stories on the local news about hikers trapped for a day or two in the Olympics and skiers who try to go out of bounds and get lost. I always mock those people. I mean, really - who's stupid enough to not be able to back track the way they came? Uh, as it turns out, I am.

When we emerged onto the ridge at the end of the trail Pete and I did some quick calculations. Apparently, we consider ourselves professional mountaineers and so we decided to just head out on an unmarked road toward what we assumed would be the parking lot. There was a single wooden sign saying the highway was just a mile away. It was old and crappy but we figured it would be accurate and we did park right off the highway and a mile is much closer than 2.5 miles. So with those calculations in mind, down the road we head. For awhile things look pretty good. I could see the highway in the distance and we had roughly another half hour of sunlight but then just as suddenly, the road ends! We've reached the highway and there's no parking lot in sight. Cars and trucks are barreling down the road at 70 miles per hour. There's no way we can walk along side of it and not risk life and limb. There's a secondary dirt path that seems to lead away from the highway and with no other choice we began to follow it. It was pretty muddy and it didn't look like anyone had traveled it in some time. Weeds were growing all over it and it's hard to even keep track of. Pink and purple hues began to coat the sky and the last bit of sun was barely visible over the mountains. The air was getting brisk and my feet were getting tired. I knew my time was running out.

I looked over at my two companions and began to weigh who would taste better. My dog is a muscular, conditioned animal. He'd be stringy, sinewy, and gamey. Plus, he's so frigging cute. I could never kill him. Pete on the other hand has some tender parts and being a full grown man, would last longer. I could probably survive a week or more on his meat alone plus I'd have the added bonus of using his extra clothing for bedding. What could I use to kill him though? A large rock to the head might do it. Were there any large rocks around? I wanted to do this quick so he didn't have to suffer too much. It was at this point that I caught a glimpse of the parking lot. It was just another half mile. I decided I could probably make it and that Pete should live. We got to the truck just as the last bit of light dipped out of sight and we made it home without incident where I was able to order takeout sushi and drink a glass of red wine. Somehow, I am certain that the Toro tastes much better than Pete ever would. Did I mention that we were never more than a mile from the highway and here I was contemplating manslaughter? Anybody want to scale Mt. Everest with me?

11:35 a.m. - 2003-01-06

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